The Case of the Cursed Cruise, Eerie Falls #3 ebook

“Why did I agree to this?” Gord grumbled as we walked along the shops in the Crystal Beach area west of Fort Erie. Each of us pulled our little roller bag along after Gramps dropped us off in an old sector of the town. 

“Because Chief told you to?” I left it as a question as we walked down the narrow street lined with brick buildings, many with for lease signs or boarded over windows.

“Never argue with a chief petty officer was all Colonel Bruce would say when I asked him about it.” Gord’s foot kicked at a lamppost, but he didn’t connect.

“You don’t want a familiar?” I asked, sliding my hand into the mesh carrier that dangled from my shoulder. The zippered top was loose, and I found Cleo’s fuzzy cheeks to rub. While Cleo wasn’t technically a familiar, she did help me channel spell energy, and instruct me on getting through complicated spellcasting. Just like a real familiar. Of course, Cleo was really my Grandmother’s spirit in the undead body of a cat. Unlike my relationship with Cleo/Grams, Gord was looking at getting a real animal with high intelligence.

“Well, not really… I mean, what am I going to do with a cat? Or a dog? While on tour, no less. I just joined the band, now I have to get a dog? Couldn’t it be a mouse? I loved the Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NIHM book.”

“That was a good book. And a mouse around Cleo might not be a good idea.” I chuckled and turned down the alley. “Gord! This way! And who says you’re getting a dog?”

“Well, Chief wouldn’t tell me what kind of animal his old friend’s familiar is. It could be a snake. Gah! I hate snakes!” Gord shivered while he walked.

Remind him that only wizards with a dark spot on their soul get snakes as familiars.

Cleo’s voice sounded only in my head, so Gord didn’t hear her. I passed on the comment.

“Yeah…. That’s not me. I can’t even play a true neutral character in role play games. Chaotic good is where I’m happiest.”

“Here.” I paused in front of a steel door in the alley. McGinn Pet Supply was spray painted in stencilled letters on the door and faded badly. If Chief hadn’t told us the name to look for, I wouldn’t have noticed the faded and almost indistinguishable lettering.

“Gin Pet-up,” Gord read the least faded letters out loud and shook his head. “Sounds more like a drunk dating service. I don’t wanna date anyone.”

“Well, it’d take a special kind of girl to date you if you end up with a snake for a familiar,” I teased and pulled my wand out to tap the door. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed no mundanes had followed us down the alley. 

I let a bit of magic leak through my wand as it touched the faded green door. Sparkles and colour swirled at the contact point. The door took on a deep emerald sheen, and golden letters seemed to drift into view, coming closer and closer to the door’s surface from deep inside the steel. One line of text would hold on to the surface for a few seconds, while the next line drifted in from above and behind.

Fiona McGinn’s Furry Familiars

Specializing in mammals

Others available on request 

Enter now.

The deadbolt lock on the door thunked open, and the door swung in about an inch. 

“Do we have to?” Gord took a step back.

“Come on, Mister Hesitant,” I said and grabbed his hand, then pushed the door open. Gord didn’t fight and came along behind me. A short, dark hallway ended at another door, this one polished oak, with a frosted glass window and a brass handle. I turned the handle and pulled Gord into the main room. Before us stood a counter of more polished oak, with several leather pads laid out. The type you might find on an ornate writing desk to protect the wood from ink spills or being marred by the pen.

Behind that, a bank of what I thought were cages lined the walls.

“Who is that?” a tiny voice whispered.

“Dunno? One’s got a familiar,” another tiny voice squeaked.

“I only want a witch, not a wizard,” another voice said, ending in a bit of high-pitched bark. “And she’s got a familiar.”

“Never mind them,” a female voice called from behind a curtain. A tall woman with aged red hair pushed it aside. “The animals are vocal with every new client. How can I help you today?”

Fiona hasn’t changed a bit in the last century, Cleo said into my mind. I ignored her.

The woman’s eyes landed on my cat carrier. Then slowly drifted up to me. “I’m Fiona McGinn. You’d be the Cupertino lass. You look much like your grandmother. I’m sorry about her passing.”

“Thanks,” I said with a patient smile. “It’s been over a decade now.”

“I wasn’t aware you’d acquired a familiar,” Fiona said and patted the counter. “May I meet her?”

I raised the carrier and set it on one of the leather pads. Cleo sat up, her head and shoulders poking out of the top flap.

Fiona pulled up a stool and slid herself onto it, then leaned forward, never taking her eyes off Cleo.

“Oh, my. You are fortunate in the extreme.” She held out a hand, fingers curled loosely in, pausing an inch or so away from Cleo’s face. 

Cleo leaned in, rubbed her face against Fiona’s knuckle.

“A very special cat.” Fiona nodded, then looked up. “I don’t keep her kind of food here. Normally, I’d offer refreshments for both you and your familiar.”

“What is it?” the tiny voices whispered.

“Gah! An undead cat!” another squeaked. “Keep it away from me.”

 Please! Cleo’s mental voice sounded offended. If I were in need of sustenance, I would never harm a familiar.

“Shush, all of you,” Fiona chided the unseen animals behind their curtains. I noticed a few of the drapes twitch as my head moved to look at the wall. “They get antsy whenever we get a client. Now, how can I help you?”

I looked over at Gord. He nervously shuffled his feet and continued to stare at the back wall of curtained cages.

“Show her,” I said, prodding him with my elbow.

Fiona raised an eyebrow.

Gord shrugged and withdrew the golf-ball sized orb from his pocket. “Chief said I was supposed to give you this.” He set the round crystal orb on the counter. Chief, back in Eerie Falls had said it was a Selection Orb, to help him find a match for his late friend’s familiar. 

Fiona raised an eyebrow and let Gord place the round gem in her open hand. It sparkled and turned a shade of green, deep and emerald as it left Gord’s hand. 

The shopkeeper raised her eyebrows. “He said he’d find someone quickly. I didn’t have high hopes. The selection orbs can take years to show a good match. Their enchantments are difficult to fool, and rarely, if ever, lead to a bad match. One moment.”

With that, she was gone into the back room. We heard metal sliding against wood. 

“I hope it’s not a snake,” Gord mumbled.

Then Fiona was back. A cloth draped metal box in hand. The way the cloth lay, we could tell a metal cage lay underneath.

She set the cage on one of the leather pads and pulled back the cloth.

Inside, a small rodent looked out, gripping the bars. Behind it, a swanky little apartment. A lounging sofa, small flat screen TV, and a pile of fluffy cloth scraps in a nest shape showed signs of use. The TV was on with a very small video of an old sailing ship at sea on the screen. 

The rodent had a greyish-pink underbelly and a forest of white spines against dark brown fur underneath.

“A hedgehog?” Gord shook his head.

“A darn sight better than a bloody snake, mate,” the little fellow said with a fairly strong Scottish accent. He grabbed a tiny white sailor’s cap from a coat tree inside the cage, then toggled the lever to pop open his cage door. Dropping to all four feet, he trundled over the threshold of his little apartment and took several steps toward Gord.

“Hmmmm…. You ever been to sea, mate?”

“Umm, no. Been on Lake Erie a few times.”

“Know what a sextant is? Or how to tie a cleat hitch?”

“Ummm…” Gord shook his head blankly.

“And Chief picked you? I’d say the old boy is slipping. I expected a good Royal Navy lad or lass.” The hedgehog tilted his head, staring up at Gord. “What exactly are you?”

“A drummer,” Gord said.

“A bloody musician?” The eye roll on the little fellow was only obvious because his solid black eyes shifted to white at the bottom. 

“Well, you also help your mom at the bakery,” I volunteered. “You’re an excellent barista and make the donuts as well as she does.”

“A mess cook? Did you say donuts?” The little hedgehog uncrossed his little arms and looked at Gord. A smile growing on his pointed little snout.

I grinned. “Much better than Timbitz. You’ve got to try Olivia’s Ghostly Bits.”

The little fellow glanced at me. 

“Lass, on a ship, that’d have a couple of meanings, but I get what you meant.” He looked up at Fiona. “Right. Let’s get that crystal out. I still dinnae believe Chief’s judgement, but we’ll see.”

She set the orb on the counter between the hedgehog and Gord. A single white spark of magic drifted around the inside of crystal. “Both of you touch the orb. The greener the glow, the better the match.”

The little hedgehog took a few steps forward and parked both his tiny paws on the orb. It was not quite half as tall as he was. 

Gord tentatively reached out a finger and set it on the clear surface.

Inside the crystal, a cloud of light formed, roiling like a storm cloud. Magical energy sparked inside; a little bolt of lightning lit up the globe. Slowly, a green mist emerged. Its glow intensified and finally settled into a deep shamrock green.

The rodent chuckled and leaned back, releasing the orb. “Well, I’ll be blown over. That’s a bloody good match, mate.”

“I seldom see a better match,” Fiona said. 

Gord had a blank look of disbelief going. “What am I going to do with a familiar?”

“The better question, mate,” the hedgehog said with a chuckle, “is how long will it take me to train you into a proper wizard? Took two entire decades to get Cap’n Del up to a decent level. Poor fellow. Neither of us saw that cancer grab him until it was too late.” The little hedgehog pulled off his cap and reached a paw up to wipe away a tear. “He was a bloody fine man, Cap’n Del. I sure miss him. Right. What’s your name, mate?”

“Umm… Gord. Gord McKenna.”

“Well, Umm-Gord-Gord McKenna. That’s a bloody mouthful. How about we just shorten it?”

I tried to bite off a chuckle, but a snort came through.

“Ah, good. This lass appreciated my charm. Listen up, Gord-Gord. I run a tight ship. As your first mate, we’ll have magic practice twice a day until you get up to snuff with the basics.”

“But I’ve got a gig this weekend. We’re playing on the Tisserand while Darcy’s bar is closed to get a new floor installed.”

“Tisserand? You know you’re hobnobbing with the weresharks, right, lad?”

Gord shrugged. “They’re paying for our band to do two performances a day. Sammi and Courtney are even coming out.”

“We’re on vacation,” I reminded Gord. “It’s just nice that we get to be there and watch you and the band play.”

“Well, let’s get the paperwork done, then.” The little rodent looked up at Fiona, paws on his hips.

She nodded and slid a single page contract onto the counter. “The standard familiar-fae agreement. The wizard agrees to provide room and appropriate board for the familiar in a safe environment. The familiar agrees to enhance and train the wizard in the arcane arts, aiding in all magical projects. The standard ethics clause here and here.”

Gord scanned the sheet, his mouth twisted sideways. The hedgehog was faster and looked up at my friend.

“Right. Looks fine to me. What say you, Umm-Gord-Gord?”

I snickered again. 

Gord glared at me. “I don’t need another bully in my life.”

“I like him. He teases, but he’s not vindictive the way Drake is.”

“You got a fellow getting your sails tangled, Gord-Gord?” The rodent rubbed his paws together. “Been a while since I got to knock a bully down a few pegs.”

“I don’t want to make Drake mad.” Gord rubbed his left arm. “He still punches hard.”

“Not a fighter, eh? No mind. I prefer not to get into a scrap unless all else fails. But teasing and bullying are different. I tease because I’m starting to like you, Umm-Gord-Gord. Now, sign that contract if you like, and I’ll get my bags.”

Gord looked at me, his question obvious. I shrugged, then smiled. “It’s your choice, but I like him.”

“I’ll have your back, mate. What say you?” The rodent’s tiny voice might not intimidate Drake, but it held a ton of attitude. Enough that I wondered if our town bully would be able to handle the little prickly rodent’s attitude.

“All right!” Gord pulled his wand out and tapped the signature line with it. His name appeared in magical script. The rodent nodded and leaned forward so his front paws touched the other line. Gord and I both squinted, trying to read the tiny name in cursive script.

“The name is Squiffington P. Shrubs,” the hedgehog said. “But you can call me Squiffers.”